Sleeping Valor

As promised, I've caught up on this story. You have my love and attention because : 1) Vampires!!!! XD 2) I am interested in this 'council' and how they're sending ...

It been, at least a decade, since I had last been to this house. try: It had been at least a decade since I had last been to the house. ...

Yes! I do remember how vague the time period was. =P I agree, it actually added to the story. When you writer first person, you tend to find ways to ...

Mwaha. Your story is sadly going to suffer the fate of all stories I like reading too much: I skipped the grammar. Sorry! it distracts me from the plot. =P ...

Prologue "Are you ready, love?" I asked him, clutching his hand. Aidan, my blood father, was ready to drain his blood and replace it with ours. It was a painful ...

There were more on the way, I could hear them coming, and their howls sent chills down my spine. A cold sweat build on my forehead, and I wondered why ...

The lightning lit the sky with a deafening crack in perfect unison with the booming thunder and the constant downpour. I don't know why, but this sentence feels a bit ...

^_^ I read the whole thing. Which is quite a feat since I have trouble reading long pieces (which is funny since I write such long ones =P). I think ...

I see that you're new to YWS! Welcome! ^_^ Before someone else bugs you about this; we have a 2:1 rule about reviews and posts. For every one peice of ...

There was a small tremor when it landed. Where did this thing fall, exactly? How close to his home was it, for him to be sensing the tremor? Does the ...

^_^ Well it looks like I was beat to critique, but since I said I would read it and since it was short (I do so love works that are ...

“I just don’t want to lose you,” She bravely stared into her son’s eyes. Just a quick point. I used to do this all the time. The 's' on she ...

I will try not to. I will leave grammar to someone else, and instead comment on the style and characters. 1) What are these people like? We can tell Mollie ...

"DADDY!" a young girl wailed as her father's limp form fell to the ground. The girl raced towards her father's shredded body as his blood began to pool. The red ...

^_^ Hola. Nice poem, but I feel that somehow feel it lacks emotion. Maybe because though you mention tears, you don't explain the feeling of hurt or the causes. It ...